Tuesday, March 27, 2012

The Filipino Connection (pardon my French)

Nigerians are crazy.

Over and again we show the world how ridiculous we are as a people. The country is being practically run into the ground by its greedy elites, a lot of whom I sincerely believe need psychoanalysis, because a set of people so determined to put their kith and kin in perpetual bondage and ensure they die of poverty must surely have deep seated psychological problems.

Unfortunately,none of our leaders come from outer space, it would have made everybody’s life easy to simply blame our failing economy, failed educational and health institutions on the Martians. These people are a part of us. Most of them are from poor homes like the rest of us, they suffered through the military regimes and their parochial ways like us. They were once our neighbours, friends and even family members before dabbling into politics. All you have to do is look at our president who lacked footgear while growing up.

So, one wonders why these our so-called leaders, who have suffered, like we are doing presently, from epileptic power supply or lost one relative or more on one of the death traps called expressways, they cannot put in reforms that will surely put this great country of ours on the road to greatness?

I believe I have the answers and these are my theories;

1. That we all inherited a psycho-pathological disease from our ancestors.

2. That this condition is triggered by power (no matter how small). 3. That it is intensified by the acquisition of wealth.

4. That this condition is called MEGALOMANIA.

According to Wikipedia megalomania is a psycho-pathological condition characterized by delusional fantasies of power, relevance and omnipotence. Just think about it, check out all the politicians you know who are presently in power.

That is not all Wikipedia says that other characteristics of this condition are an inflated sense of self-esteem, and an over-estimation by the sufferers, of their powers and beliefs.

If the above were not true, can someone please explain to me the rationale behind the employment of Filipinos as nannies, housekeepers and house boys by ‘Lagos Big Boys’?

It is no news that our ‘international’ schools are riddled with Europeans and Americans. The more Europeans or Americans working in your school, the higher the school fees you can charge. It doesn’t really matter whether these people are qualified or not, or whether they are known or unknown criminals, whether they can even speak the lingua franca of the children they are supposed to be teaching (which is English Language the last time I checked) as long as your skin is white and you speak with a funny accent barely understood by the ‘high class’ children you are teaching.

Now the ante has been upped, the true mark of class and good taste, as far as the jet setting cliques who apparently have more money than sense, is the possession of a Filipino servant.

In a country where most people cannot afford to eat 3meals in a day, they are bringing in illegal immigrants and pay them between $450 and $500 US dollars every month. This translates to about N60,000 naira, which they can never pay any Nigerian working for them in the same capacity.

But then why am I talking like this? What makes a Nigerian look more sophisticated, ‘Real Brazilian Hair’ or tying your hair with thread? Real Brazilian hair of course! Why spot your own kinky, unmanageable hair when you can buy hair off poverty stricken Chinese women? It is long and luscious, and will provoke the envy of all your enemies.

So it follows that you will make a final statement of the fact that you have class, good taste and money when a Filipino nanny holds your bundle of joy while you are spending hard cash at a big, expensive mall. It makes absolute sense to have a well groomed Filipino opening the door to your friends as they come into your home to attend one of those your tasteful parties, and have a Filipino chef prepare all those strange and amazing dinners everyone pretends to enjoy so much.

It all makes absolute sense!

A friend told me that the fad started because people were afraid that their children could be kidnapped by their Nigerian nannies. This makes even more sense due to the fact that ALL Nigerians are kidnappers and they ALL want to kidnap your child because you are the ONLY rich person around.

Thank God for Filipinos because they are ALL honest due to the colour of their skin and the texture of their hair. White denotes HONESTY and they would never do that kind of thing. There are no criminal Filipinos. The fact that they are working in Nigeria without proper papers does NOT make them criminals. The best part is that at the sight of your Filipino nanny, potential kidnappers would be so struck by terror, awe and lust that they will banish the thought of ever kidnapping your child.

At this point I’m even thinking why Filipinos? Why not French au-pairs?

Leaders emerge from the people, people deserve the kind of leaders they get.

Word of advice to job seekers; go bleach your skin, fix real ‘Filipino hair’ and acquire badly spoken English and a peppering of Filipino swear words and you might just get that juicy position as the snotty Filipino nanny taking care of future megalomaniacs.


  1. Great post! I am currently doing research on domestic workers and I just stumbled on your blog through a link on your review of Love on Trial. If it's possible, I would love to know more about the Filipino workers in Nigeria. I couldn't find any contact details so I'm commenting here. Look forward to hearing from you.

    1. You may contact me through aeolofintuade@gmail.com.

  2. Ummm i really dont see anything wrong with having a Filipino nanny. Nigeria is not as it was before and it is hard to find educated Nigerians that are willing to work as nannys. In the Phillipines they have excellent training schools for people wishing to enter into this field and the staff are highly professional. People employ domestic staff from the Phillipines across the world not just in Nigeria. Secondly about your comment on employing expatriate teachers there is also a rationale behind this. I have helped to set up a British private school and in addition to Expat teachers we were interviewing Nigerian teachers and trust me out of 200 cv's you will only find 1 or 2 applicants that are suitable to interview. Teaching in Nigeria has become something people do if all else fails and people are not serious about it. Many teachers cannot even fill in a job application form using correct English so what will they impart in your children? It is very painful as in the past we were reknowned across Africa for our great education system and attending a Nigerian university was like going to the UK for many Africans. The once great Federal school system is no more. If you can afford it you want the best for your children so I dont believe that the employment of foreigners is just a Big Man Complex but a problem that stems from the demise of our education system and the need for National re-orientation.

  3. So much venom here Ayodele....You may never know why some have resorted to employing Filipino nannies. Are you 100% sure they are illegal immigrants? Are sure they were forced to come? Why so much "Hatred" in putting your point across? I have a Nigerian nanny (about 44 now) who I must say is God sent. She has been with us for almost 5yrs and I thank God everyday for her. I am one of the lucky ones.

    Initially when the trend started in Nigeria, it looked like a status symbol thing. But now after hearing what people go through in the quest for the perfect help, one would say "Lets try a Filipino nanny". I know a couple in the UK who have had their Filipino nanny for years. I have also seen her in action. She is an extremely hardworking lady who has sent all her kids to the university from the work of her hands. If it can work in the UK, why cant it work in Nigeria. At least you don't have to contend with someone whining in your ears about their mother or brother or uncle dying and need to borrow some money in advance, or that someone from the village is after them.

    I also know Nigerian nannies who earn up to N60,000 a month, and get to travel wherever their employers want them to go to. But really, if people want to, how does that bother the next person? Why waste so much emotions in abusing people and their beliefs?

    And next attack is on teachers in schools. Have you heard how the teachers in schools speak these days? Schools today have changed. I bet you cant even send your kids to the school you went to because things are not as they were.

    Yes you have a right to air your views but please...less venom.

  4. Ayodele, I must admit you sound very ignorant. Please do a proper research before going blah blah blah....

  5. I read your post as I searched google for Filipino nanny in Nigeria. I am doing this search the second time around due to my new bout of frustration. An agent just brought me a maid to look after my 2 children, I have again just forked out 16,000 naira to the agent (for his fees and for a medical test) knowing fully well that this arrangement is unlikely to work. I know this because I have been down this path several times. I have refused to employ anyone less than 20years old as I do not want to partake in slavery and child labour. This means I pay a salary of 15,000 naira minimum, I feed and house the maid and I give gifts occasionally. I also have a cook who is in charge of the house work and cooking. I am home and unable to work as I have not found 1 decent nanny in almost 2 years. The agents lie, the maid/nannies lie. They come saying the girl has experience and can do this and do that. When she starts work, you have to train her how to put on the gas cooker, to use the microwave, steam iron and how to wash toilet and wash the sink with bleach(instead of Ariel). Yet the agent and the girl both said the girl has 1 yeas experience, when you ask for her references they tell you her madam has relocated to the UK. I tell you it is most frustrating. After training them for a few weeks they tell you that they want to leave. In other cases, they remain with me and do almost nothing, they obviously dont like children, they refuse to learn how to make chips and can hardly even cook our local food well and to clean 1 children's room is wahala.

    I have seen it all and I can tell you it seems impossible. All I want is someone to help me with my children, I am self employed and have placed my children as priority over my work. I bathe them twice daily, read to them and sit with them daily in the living room whilst I try to do some work on my laptop.

    I have never asked for someone to take over my duties, just someone to assist me. Someone to be present if I need to go to the salon or need to meet a client. I have found no one competent enough with who I can leave my children.

    I would not bother to list the issues I have faced with these people, they are numerous. I have lost money, I am often stressed by their actions and I am homebound.. I was about to pay a Calabar woman 50,000naira but she didnt take the offer perhaps because I didnt need her to travel abroad with me as she had previously assumed.

    All I want is a good Nigerian nanny, I am willing to pay well but cant find any. If I find what I need in a Filipino, does it make me crazy and trying to prove a Big Man Point.